Dear Daddy

The stories and experience of fathers are quite controversial, truth is most of the topics around fathers and dad's are not pleasant as compared to the stories narrated about mothers.

It's saddening when the most important person in a kids life is absent. Guess no one really understand how important it is to have a person that can stand to protect you, hear you, appreciate your entire being, provide, pays for things that are of your interest, education, medical bills, guides your life and stays around even when the world is quite heavy on him than a person who has grown fatherless.

To father a kid is a job that can be done by any man but to be a dad is not a job rather a selfless decision only made by a proud, noble and responsible man.

It comes at a cost, it calls for a man who is willing to compromise alot. Having to let go of a life termed as freedom to taking care of a family is another role of leadership that is considered by those who are bold.

Whoever said being a father is easy, you should first ask if, sharing your paycheck, neglecting your own needs, being there emotionally and physically to your spouse and kids, being a career man or a business man, leading the spirituality of your family is something you would consider. 

Truth about fatherhood is that you make peace with the idea of always being a giver without the expectation of receiving because somehow women are designed to receive. You are constantly on the giving end. You provide solutions since there is an expectation you have to always figure things out. You are always approached by problems and issues to fix while no one fixes yours.

One reason most men drown in alchohol, some stick around with their friends just to drown their issues or sip it in. Funny how we will end up questioning some of them, judge and throw all sorts of insults yet some are slowly dying inside.

We loose some of the nicest of men due to comparison, being bigoted, scant, too much unnecessary expectation and repression. Some that we can't handle ourselves. Only emotionally intelligent women learn to maintain the balance to ensure the father to your kids doesn't lose himself.

I have no idea of your story but on my end I have a dad that deserves all my respect. I have grown seeing a responsible man turning my sisters and I to the ladies we are today.

Having a man that loves you enough and cares about you as a person, feeds your spiritual life, has the desire to see you and support you to be the best version of yourself is a flex. A man that has made me understand there is more in me that just being a woman the society perceives and needs, I am my own person. I can sit with him with my ideas and approach him with questions and trust that I'll leave with more wisdom.

Having a man that vulnerably shares with you truths about life but still allows you to experience it, requires courage.

Having someone that knows and understands your strengths and weaknesses and encourage you to explore more on your strengths and gracefully walks with you in your era of changing is a typical defination of someone who wants nothings but the best for you. 

I have watched my father transform in every situation with his supportive partner, my mother by his side.

I have known and learnt the meaning of love, support, marriage and family from the home I'm coming from. I hope to raise and build a family better than my parents.

Truth is we all have different versions of our stories, and it's okay. We can't change where we are from but can change where we are going. I have heard of the say as a woman you are not just being selected you are also an author of your love story. Be graceful to take time and selfless, you are not only looking for your husband but also a man your kids will relate to as their dad. 

Make all the mistakes but not the one that involves denying your kids the gift of a fathers love. It's beautiful. You will be glad at your old age. 

For those of us who lost our fathers, we have the beautiful memories that were left with us. Hope they remind you of how it feels to be loved and gives you strength to make him proud by being the best version of yourself.

I'm celebrating all the father's with the same strive and qualities. On behalf of the kids with such parents, we are greatful. I wish you a lengthy life to see the work of your hands. May your hard work pay off.

Happy Father's Day!