The Beauty of Healing

In a world where toxicity and unresolved trauma is glamorized as ‘being yourself’, I decided to look deeper into myself and figure out how to become a better version of myself and break the cycle of passing trauma and hurting those around me just because I was hurt.

It takes sincere intentionality and accountability to acknowledge that it is true you are hurt, you have hurt others, and you need to be better. As a babe who has her greatest desire in not only growing and shining in my career, business, and spirituality, I knew deep down I desired a healthy home where I could be a great mom, wife, sister, aunt, and daughter. 

I made a decision in 2020, four years down the line, that I have to become a decent human who acknowledges who I am and what I have been through and create a different version of myself instead of living the life and a version of me that was created by hurt people.

Over the years, I have learned growth is gradual and time is required as well as intentionality. The truth is you will sometimes fall back to your old habits, but you constantly have to put yourself in uncomfortable situations where you question and analyze your actions and words as well as your entire life spectrum. 

Throughout my journey, I have learned three major lessons from healing and I wish to take you through them they include;

Self-discovery 

Healing will allow you to understand yourself in the most profound ways that you had no idea about. You will begin to realize why you, at some point, acted in a certain way, and why you handled a situation a certain way.

By looking deeper into yourself, you will begin to identify your strengths and weaknesses, and instead of feeling insecure about your weaknesses, you will learn to point them out and embrace them. Likewise to your strengths, you will identify them, and instead of placing your value on them, you will allow them to help you maneuver in life. 

Through self-discovery, you will create a clear vision of your life that is based on growth that is centered on personal, social, spiritual, and financial growth.

Your growth will no longer be about placing your value on your achievements. Rather, your value and identity will be based on who you are as a person. 

Healing will allow you to heal parts of you that feel or stop you from being unrelatable to those around you. Those part that highlights or bring out your insecurities after healing will appear to be the most interesting parts of you and make you feel human around others. The need to appear perfect will be suppressed. 

You become empathetic

Recently, I was holding a conversation with my dad, sharing with him how I have grown, and currently, I am no longer judging people for their circumstances and realities. Rather, I tend to empathize with them. The same grace I have towards myself I have learnt to extend it to those around me. 

How I got to this state of mind is unexplainable. The idea of living a life centered around God has had a great influence in shaping how I see life and people. I wish everyone would allow themselves to experience this part of life, but the problem is that we are tied down with our past and disinterested in allowing the holy spirit to dwell and fellowship deep in our hearts and souls. 

Growing up I did not understand why my parents still entertained those you could see are doing them wrong. As a kid, everyone assumes you do not see or understand what is going on, but as a silent and observant kid, whom we all term introvert, we see, notice, and make our own conclusions. 

So, growing up, I noticed how genuine my parents were to people; despite their class, health, circumstance, and age, they were driven by love and kindness. Now that I am an adult who has had an experience of living and interacting with people outside my home, I have learned how difficult it is to just be a genuine human being. Truth is people will push you out of character. Facts are, as a human being, you have your limits; if pushed to the wall, the unpleasant side of you will leave the closet. 

Despite all these experiences, I have also learned that living in Christ will fuel your desire to be genuine and live in love without tiring. 

You will learn to accept people as they are

The idea of emotional intelligence is one of the most spoken types of intelligence that seems so common and obvious to everyone but the least considered.

Growing up, we all experienced the pressure and advocacy on intelligence quotient that we failed to embrace and learn about the social quotient, emotional quotient, and adversity quotient, and now, as an adult, you are forced into the reality that all these other types of intelligence play a vital part in your survival and growth.

As a mature adult who took healing and general growth quite personally, you begin to see life differently due to your heightened level of intelligence; you realize nothing is personal, and you learn to slowly live peacefully with people by accepting who they are instead of complaining and expecting them to do things right as per your understanding.

You learn to be selective with those you want in your life, setting boundaries and feeling less guilty for advocating for yourself. You learn that how you want to live your life can be different from most people, and it is okay. 

You make peace with so many things and people and that’s the beauty of life and the beginning of your peace because you learn to mind your business.

Hope this article will open your eyes and heart and be your guide into stepping into your healing process. 

All the best darling reader!