How to heal from your self-sabotaging tendencies

Self-sabotaging is a current word that has gained popularity in this generation, thanks to the advancement in technology that has eased the learning process for so many individuals who seek growth and knowledge from the internet. This wouldn’t have been possible without the introduction and embrace of therapy from psychologists and therapists. 

As human beings, we have characters and patterns that influence how we operate and relate with others. These patterns are influenced by our past experiences, either by people we have encountered, what they feed our minds, or what we grew up watching from those around us.

Despite the fact that the word self-sabotaging is widely spread, you will only notice these tendencies when you become intentional with self-awareness. This will guide you in understanding why you act the way you do or notice certain patterns in your life. Which will guide you in finding ways how to work on them as well as help you in your interactions with others.

Now that we know and understand what self-sabotaging is, the next step is how to heal from it. Which are:

Just for clarity, I am not a doctor, psychologist, or therapist, but rather a babe who has had an intentional journey of self-discovery and growth.

• Acknowledge your traumas

At the end of the day, we all have traumas. These are things that we have gone through that affected us negatively. Which means they affected our approaches to life, our self-image, and our perspective towards life. The truth about life is that there is no perfect way of doing things, but there is definitely the right way of doing and living life. As Christians, we have a bible that guides us through shaping our hearts and minds, which influencess our actions. It is important to do some self-reflection and analysis that should guide you into understanding why you act the way you do and also have the kind of mindset that you have.

• Point out and work on your weaknesses

As human beings, we definitely have weaknesses, and it is okay. However, the problem comes when you allow them to control you or make those around you uncomfortable. The purpose of identifying your weaknesses is to either work on them or find ways how to manage them to live with others. Identifying your weaknesses means no one can shame you with them because you are aware, which makes it difficult for an outside force to shake your confidence or self-esteem.

• Focus on your strengths

What makes a person more beautiful is their strengths; most times, these are the qualities we admire from them. This is why an individual needs to be aware of their strengths. By this, it means they can focus on them and use them to serve those around them. Allowing yourself to focus on your strengths creates room for confidence and allows you to show up as your best self.

• Make self-awareness a personal and intentional journey

It is easier to learn about others because it is easier to see the log in others and ignore the spec in our eyes. Self-awareness allows you to understand your entire existence, from character, traumas, weaknesses, and strengths, and it becomes difficult for anyone to put you down by pointing them out. Those with little or no knowledge about themselves have or develop a very fragile ego that is easily broken by external factors. Therefore, understanding yourself allows you to remain firm in your beliefs without any form of intimidation. This also allows you to not be easily swayed by peer pressure or perspectives that do not align with your ways.

• Address your fears with your closest person 

If there are things that hold us from moving forward, they are our fears, which either come from past experiences or other people’s testimonies. There is no glory in fear. It only robs you of accessing everything good or experiencing life to the fullest. Fear has a beautiful way of influencing us into sabotaging our lives. Addressing it and working on it means you need to be careful about who to open up to. This allows you to have someone who guides you and understands as well as keeps tabs on your progress.

• Be real and honest with yourself

As a human being, we become more flexible and more confident when we learn to be honest with ourselves. Which begins by conceding who we are and our background. This allows you to maneuver and handle life better without anyone dictating how you should be or live.

• Learn from criticism

What is life without critics? For growth to take place, you have to create room for learning. This means identifying positive and negative criticism. Positive criticism comes from a place of love and care, not just from how they are packaged but rather from the solutions offered. It is important to discard opinions that do not come with solutions since all they do is trigger your ego while satisfying the source of criticism. As much as it is important to identify the positive criticism, learning allows you to grow as well as work on our ignorance which allows us to be better individuals as well as in our skills. 

Hope this article will be of much help to you as you plan on taking the journey of self-discovery!