Things I am unlearning and the healthy habits I am learning

 

In life at every stage, there are lessons and achievements that we learn. Reason we all say we are students from the school of life. If not so, we would have a life manual.

Growing up we learn things from those around us, which apparently shapes our reality and perception. You grow up, go to college and experience life different from the one you experienced at a young age and realise there is more to life. Even without notice you get the urge to explore (which is always defined as finding options)

At the end of the day the aim is always to answer the question ‘why’. Some are lucky to find their way back, some get stuck, some find a suitable option. All in all, there is a point we settle and we call it a reality.

One reason I never take everything personally, what everyone calls a reality is different to every other person. Reality is based on the choices we make.

There are things I have learned and I am still learning considering that I just turned a year older. My view to life is slightly changing which is why I figured I should share bits of the things I am unlearning and embracing.

what I am learning, 

Judge less, rather choose understanding

people make decisions based on their current situations, they definitely know the harsh consequences and have gone through enough mental struggle. All they want is to move forward and all you have to offer as a decent human is to listen and give them grace of allowing them to figure things by supporting their decision. When they come around allow them to share their lessons and not the “I told you so” we bush it on people.

Sometimes all you have to do is remain silent

You don’t always have to have an opinion or suggestions on every conversation. What we ought to say may be right but the person you are talking to might not be in the right state of mind to accommodate your point of view.

I am learning to be confrontational

I have been the type that prefers to swallow things and let them slide. If something is not working, I either leave or quit. I have always had a hard time to be honest with my feelings and when something isn’t serving me. Ever since I realised how much peace and healthy boundaries you make by addressing your issues and differences, I don’t want to get back to the old habits. At the end of the day your body is smart it can tell when It is being suppressed.

I am learning to allow people redefine themselves

Just like we all give ourselves grace to embrace the new us and want everyone around us to also acknowledge, is the same way others feel. Allow people to reintroduce themselves. People change.

There are situations where people don’t change. Just like a snake exfoliate to increase in length, it applies the same to some human beings. 

Let intuition be your guide. All you have to do is trust it even when everything feels and seems right. You are not over thinking.

Set the boundaries, just because you have forgiven them and are embracing their new version it doesn’t mean you should forget. Being kind does not mean you should stop being smart.

Be open minded 

You wonder why some people live a very peaceful life, less worries and think they are lucky. No! they are not, it’s the power of being open minded which leads to diversification. You will learn a lot and make your own prejudices from conversations, personal and peoples experiences. Choosing to understand other people’s perception doesn’t mean you should neglect your own point of view.

Create an environment where one can feel free to converse and share. Some people want genuine and intimate conversations all you have to do is be accommodative for some minutes.

I am learning to speak my mind

I am learning to be vocal and stand on my believes, people have theirs. People get mad when you have different believes. Which mostly occurs to insecure people. Secure people love the diversity. The guys who apply this approach and are the most peaceful beings are T.V and radio producers, they never take anything personally 

I am learning to love insecure people but at a distance

There is nothing wrong with them but if you’ve worked hard to gain confidence in yourself then with no effort an insecure person will make you drop all that from 100 to 0. They will make you feel you are not on the right track and make you question a lot about yourself and capabilities. You will only realise how much of an inspiration you were when you keep a distance or stay away. They will begin to do things that you used to and the in the same way. That is after they’ve made you embrace imposter- syndrome.

Excellence is not perfection

Excellence is a progress where you come from loving what you do, how you do it and the tendency to learn something new. While perfection is a pleasing attitude. Lack of authenticity and need to be acknowledged and accepted. There is always room for trials which we take is as failure. Who even said there was something wrong with that?

I am learning to be more spiritual

Having a relationship with God is the beginning of a clear, purposeful and a healthy happy life. As I said life is a matter of choices that end up defining our reality.

It doesn’t cost a dime to be courteous and kind

Our words and actions sometimes break the second party. I am learning that some people actually want assurance from us, whatever I say can either kill their self-esteem or build their self-confidence. Being an exception for doing right is better than having a community full of hurt people.

The world would be at a better place if we learn to always internalise ourselves, by looking beyond our positive flaws and what makes us favourite humans. Unlearn some of our toxic traits, instead of letting people learn to adjust to our toxicity in the name of being real.