Revolution

 

It’s radically obvious that change is always inevitable. Some time back,  I was having one of those random evening walks with a friend, chitchatting about life in general. We all know this is one of the most boring topics to be involved in, but what else can you talk about with someone in the same career space?

I thought I was good at eavesdropping until my friend proved me wrong when he shared what he overheard a group of guys talking about. “if you don’t change, change will change you,” one of the guys retorted.

This say got me thinking so hard about what changes I have to make. At the time, I was right after school and interning at a radio station. 

I was in a space where I felt the need to step up, I had a career going on but deep down, I knew I didn’t want to settle. From the outside, everyone, and by everyone I mean my family members and the guy I was seeing, knew everything was falling into place. I have the life everyone desires. A part of me couldn’t conquer less.

At some point, we all design the life we want and work towards having it but,  truth be told. We stumble. No one plans for it, but the sixteen-year-old me knew we are the reason behind the downfall we encounter, it’s either I didn’t know better or life had not humbled my school of thought.

My story is no different. When on the verge of building a career and stabilizing my personal growth, I made decisions based on the person I wanted to become. A talk show host, a women and girl’s empowerment activist, and a spiritual life.

My spiritual growth began with making myself more active in church activities. Apparently, at the time I didn’t understand why most people my age were not so active in church activities, but now I know. I decided to read books and listen to podcasts that would elevate my spiritual life. Thanks be to Joyce Meyer, my parents and sisters who have always and still play a vital role in my spiritual journey.

The next move was to quit a job that everyone wants. Being on the radio. It was the best thing that ever happened to me but it was time to call it quits. Every industry has a culture and the culture I wanted to adopt wasn’t what was being offered, but it had the best people to hang around with and the place to learn.

My focus was clear I wanted and still want a purposeful and fulfilling life. Being on the radio couldn’t give me the privilege. I got back to square one, the plan of writing and revamping my website ‘The She World’. At least it was aligned with my vision.

This was the part where the say the guys used, hit me so well “if you don’t change, change will change you.” I switched to survival mode. Where I picked the easiest way out, which was to settle.

I have never been the girl who gave up that easily when she wants something but I got myself into the season.

I began to feel the need to adopt the characteristics of what is termed as wife material, a little less ambitious, compromising and choosing to have the last word, being the bigger person just to feel accepted by the guy I was seeing.

He seemed to have it all figured out and all he wanted was a baby. I was more than willing to compromise and overlook all I wanted in life just to be a suitable match for him.

I have heard of people saying you can lose yourself when trading to be someone else’s preference or the ideal expectation of a mass. It never crossed me that I will be one of the people who attest to this type of story.

Once upon a time, I was told if you want to chase men away be a woman who is an overachiever, has a luxurious taste, and a compelling lifestyle. With no shame, I followed this manuscript.

Thank goodness I was told, men. All I wanted was a man.

Apparently, I did downplay my entire demeanor not knowing people are different and that the guy wanted me for me. Too bad I realized after I had fumbled the special connection.

Coming to the career. I began to consider any form of job since sustenance and salary are what matter once an adult. The whole idea just distracted me from the original plan of having a purposeful and fulfilling life.

I accepted a gig that wasn’t in line with what I dreamt or ever wanted, being an entertainment host. On the brighter side, we all have to start somewhere for the universe to understand we are deserving of something.

I wanted change but change made me change. Everything about me changed. A little drift of direction, friendships and way of viewing love. 

No one told me this but the survival mode has taught me and changed my reasoning.

Lessons I learned:

         I.            Never compromise your voice or your inner self to feel acceptable. Your people are for you. you will be loved despite being different because it makes us unique.

       II.            Your spiritual life is the key to the most peaceful and happy life.

     III.            Never chase love or people. Instead, be determined to have elevated personal growth people will be attracted to that.

    IV.            People will love you and find you attractive when you have something going on. Only God offers unconditional love.

      V.            Know what you want and chase it. It comes with peace and a sense of living.

    VI.            Don’t chase life. Let it unfold, keep living the moment. One of the reasons some people are happy while others are depressed and others are miserable.

   VII.            Do you. The worst thing that can happen is to have the wrong people going.

I hope you enjoyed this read. All the best in redefining yourself.